Random Realities
 
Phffft!
 
 
Some people say I'm obsessive-compulsive. That is so untrue.
 
I just do what I gotta do, man.
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I flicked my Bic before the eyes of my little dog, Sugar, and said, "See?" reassuring her that yes, I am God.


Dogs are usually pretty easy.
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As a writer, I don't want to be the splash of nipple-warm cream in your morning latte. I don't want to bring delighted smiles to your pouty pink lips as you snuggle up to the comfort of my gentle wisdom. No, as a writer I want to be the fuckin' cop in your rear view mirror. I want to be the unspeakable thing that goes bump in your darkest night. I want to hit you between the eyes with a smackdown of adrenalin truth, and bring you awakened on your knees, trembling to your senses.

But unfortunately I'm very shy, and actually not that confident in anything I might have to say. Kinda sad, really. Total loss for the world, I figure.

 

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It occurred to me this morning how many things we do in this life that shouldn't be necessary. For example, if people would just behave like civilized human beings, I wouldn't have to go waving my .45 around all over the place.

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You don't have to think like me to be my friend. Likewise, you don't have to try to convince me to think like you. You bring great value to our beautiful friendship that goes much deeper than your stupid beliefs.

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The saddest day of my life was when I realized I was already too old to have a mentor, and still too dumb to be one.
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I was wondering the other day, "What is my particular gift?"
 
Roxanne said, "You have the ability to make people laugh."
 
And I said, "No, I mean what do I get?"

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No matter what other misfortunes my parents might have heaped on me when I was a child, at least they didn't nickname me "Squeaky." How could I not be grateful for that?
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The things we are obsessive about become the realities of our lives.

No, wait. Reverse that.

Well, no.

Shit. I'm just not sure, and it's driving me crazy.
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Love means never having to say I'm sorry, by God.
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You cannot open your heart without baring your breast. Trusting people requires courage. Trusting is actually a gift to yourself of strength and faith.

And giving gifts to yourself, as everyone knows, is a win/win deal.
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One problem with being 57 years old and a child of the 60's is that I don't know whether to blame acid flashbacks or encroaching senility for some of the things I do. Sometimes I see rainbows in my oatmeal. Especially when I smear it all over the dog.

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Why do people insist on calling it the hot water heater? It's the friggin' cold water heater, for cryin' out loud. I get blank stares all the time. I'm about to just give up changing the world.

But this is the only thing I have to worry about, so I'm ok.
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When you're trying to figure things out, the best thing about having conversations with yourself is this:

       If you are totally honest, you will eventually find true resolution.

Or maybe that's the worst thing about having conversations with yourself, I don't know.

 

I'll have to think about it. Maybe talk it over.
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Whenever I'm playing solitaire and I lay out more than 3 of a kind, I always say, "To hell with that," and redeal.

I know when I'm being cheated. I won't tolerate it.
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Roxanne told me the other night, in a sort of misty afterglow...well, what she said was, "I was put on this earth to love you. That's why I'm here."

So, she's got that goin' for her...
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I woke up last night and couldn't get back to sleep. So I went to the kitchen, sat down at the table, and played a game of Lazy Susan, just to pass the time and some condiments.

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"What's your point?" he asked.

"To obfuscate and confuse," I replied.

"I see," he said.

But he didn't, not really.

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I'm going to continue writing humorous things, but I'm going to quit making them reliant on those stupid, underlying elements of truth. That's so bogus.
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So many levels to the truth
Perspectives on it, too,
The purest blacks and whites of youth,
Blend grey, upon review.

T.
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I downloaded a bootleg copy of a spyware scanner to protect my computer. When I fired it up, it infected my PC with a real nasty virus.
 
I hate justice when it happens to me.
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We Are

For all our fears, yet unmet, we are not cowards.
For all our truths, yet unrevealed, we are not liars.
For all our questions, yet unanswered, we are not hopeless.
For all our dreams, yet unwakened, we are not asleep.

For all we are not, we are.

T.